strange

I hate my former name. I’ve always hated it. I hate the way it sounds when it’s spoken, I hate the way it looks when written, I hate the way people are constantly trying to spell it with an “I” at the end, and I hate it’s generally accepted meaning as well (which is a big deal to me, being a massive name-nerd). Most people don’t know what it’s like to hate something so very fundamental about oneself. Something as everyday as your name shouldn’t be a source of distaste and resentment. Cringing every time a friend or neighbor says hello to you is just shitty, trust me. It’s not a good way to live, and it wreaks havoc with your self-esteem, of which I have very little to begin with. But there’s more to it than this simple answer.